Destiny: A Matter of Choice

The smallest thing can change your life.

 In the blink of an eye, something happens... 

when you least expect it... 

setting you on a course you never planned... 

into a future you had never imagined. 

Where will it take you? 

That’s the journey of our lives. 

Our search for the light...

the search for our destiny.

       One important question I’ve asked myself since I was seven or eight years old is whether  many of the moments which transform our lives in very particular directions happen by ‘accident,’ ‘coincidence,’ ‘luck,’ ‘chance,’ ‘karma,’ ‘serendipity,’ or ‘design’ ( ‘fate’). I think this is an important question regardless of whether you are superstitious or not; one which has been explored by various cultures, religions, and people worldwide throughout the ages. Is there really such things? Can life events be explained using such terms? Have you ever asked yourself such questions? If so, did you reach an answer? Well, even if you’ve never asked, I hope the following discussion gives you a chance to explore and think about it further.   

As pointed earlier, from a very early age, these type of questions have always intrigued me. Although I’m a big believer in us being the creators of our own destiny, I can’t help but sometimes wonder whether certain special moments are thrown our way by a superior force, be it the Universe/life/God/Tao (or whatever other name works for you best) as a platform from which to take flight from. The type of moments that come once in a lifetime; the ones which are filled with possibility for how your story unfolds. 

One of the things I remember most about my childhood is being driven to school one day by my Dad. My brother sat in the front, and I sat at the back. The light turned red at the intersection and my Dad was forced to stop just before crossing it. Looking outside from my backdoor’s window, I could see a young boy (perhaps a couple of years younger than me at the time), who walked around from car to car asking for money. I remember noticing that although his clothes were dirty, he wasn’t wearing any shoes, and he wasn’t having much luck getting any change from the other drivers... he still... had a big smile on his face. In fact, the kid looked as happy as he could be! Suddenly, a question came to mind:

“Why is it that I’m on this side of the window and not the other?”

The light went green and and we arrived to school just a few minutes later. I payed little attention to what went on in my classes for the rest of the day. All I could think of was that question, and it was the start of a powerful transformation of a very new perspective for me. Ever since, I have continued to wonder from time to time, why was I born into this particular family? A family of warriors with an unrelenting drive to to pursue dreams and turn them into reality. Why is it that I was born healthy and have the  natural inclination to discuss ideas, thoughts, and perspectives as opposed to gossip about people and events? Why is it that the pursuit for experiences that make me feel connected with all that’s around me have always been a top priority on the way I spend my time?

Slowly but surely, I have continued to pay close attention in search of a more concrete answer to some of these questions. Naturally, that very search has led me to understand that although the answer itself may be unreachable, sometimes it’s the question... which matters most. And so in asking it, I have come to understand that sometimes the best way to reach an answer is to ask the question sideways. In other words, every now and then, changing the way you ask the question can lead you to reach a more concrete answer. 

So... rather than asking why, I began asking: "for what?" 

Consequently, I've come to gather the personal belief that the Universe does in fact present us with certain exceptional circumstances at very definitive moments throughout our lives. That is to say, that for whatever reason... life puts in front of us a very specific door... a circumstance... an opportunity... a moment... for a very particular reason/purpose.

Consider for a moment the fact that the movement and transformation of energy is a continual process with no clear beginning or end. Everything it seems, appears to take place at the exact moment that it needs to. Suffice to think about all the little details that have shaped us into who we are now. Isn’t it likely that had any one of those details taken place differently, our present situation would have turned out to be an entirely different outcome? 

Take your own biological beginning as an example. If that one single spermatozoon which contributed almost half of your genetic make-up had been any other one of the billions racing against it to reach your mother’s ovum, you certainly would have turned out to be a lot different from who you are right now. What exactly led that one single spermatozoon be the one which would determine so many of the qualities that make up the body and eyes that are now reading this post? The truth is, we may never know the answer. Nevertheless, the one important point to consider is that had one thing been different (think of any number of scenarios which could have taken place to delay that loving act between your parents the very day/evening which led to your conception), the you... you’ve come to know and love, would be completely different. Agreed? 

Take it a step further down the line. What would have happened if your parents had never met? or your grandparents? or your great-great-great-grandparents, etc? What brought them together? What exactly led their paths to cross as such specific time frames?

This type of thinking can be applied to any scenario you have ever experienced in your life. The point is that one single event can have a tremendous impact on how your story unfolds from then onward. So whether it is getting on/off from a bus at a certain stop and meeting that stranger that becomes one of your best friends; walking into a used book shop and finding a gem of a book which inspires you like no other; going to that one party which at first you didn’t feel like going but in which you happen to meet a beautiful girl with whom you could potentially spent the rest of your life with; traveling to a certain place solo and having some kind of epiphany about something important to you; moving half way across the globe without concrete plans about anything; choosing one school over the other; turning the TV on at the specific moment in which a movie you’ve never seen or heard of is playing and which suddenly teaches you something you know you’ll never forget... the possibilities are literally limitless. 

Whatever it is, I’m sure you can picture in your mind the type of scenarios I’m referring to. The type of moments without which you know for a fact that your life would be very/entirely different from what it is now. 

My point is that the so-called “accidents/coincidences/etc” that we sometimes run into in our lives are actually not necessarily so. Things simply happen the way they happen. Although our analytical minds may be quick to label certain situations as good/bad, unforgettable/regrettable, coincidental... etc... the fact remains, each of those moments (regardless of the label you attribute to them) is an important part of the puzzle, lego, word, (or whatever metaphor best floats your boat) that has shaped you into who you are. Each of them has the potential to show/teach us exactly what we need to know in the life we are all living right now. And it is here where the magic of life reveals itself most: 

Each of us gets exactly what we ask for and need most. 

Now... you can take it or leave it... but I sincerely believe that each of us receives what we attract... through the wireless telepathy of our own minds. You may think all of this is crazy talk; after all, this is my own point of view based on what I have seen and experienced. Nevertheless, if you slow down and really pay attention to the life you are living now, I can assure you that you will begin to see the patterns which reveal the point I’m trying to make.

I’ve sometimes heard people say that you shouldn’t spend too much time looking back at your past from time to time,  but my response always is, “why not?” Why neglect it? How can you know where you are and where you are going if you don’t know where you’ve already been? 

Your past is a part of your present in as much as your present is a part of your future. 

There is so much you’ve learned through the experiences and teachers you’ve come across with. Why not revisit them? Maybe you’ll come across something valuable that you have forgotten over time. This is exactly why I find it useful to write things down; not to remember them later... but to remember them now (whenever that now moment is). Once you do that, it is much easier to start connecting the dots which have brought you to your present situation; to understand how it is you ended up where you are at right now... and sometimes, to remember what it is that truly matters to you. Bottom line is, each thing has led to another... in accordance to the choices you’ve made under the available circumstances that life has presented you along the way (at very specific time frames). 

In my case, the biggest change I have brought into my life up to this point is the arrival of a new being to form part of my growing family. Has it changed all the plans I had made since my first-born child was born and earlier? Absolutely! Did it caught us by surprise? You bet! Though to me, the news was simply another way in which the universe is pushing me to grow into a new level of understanding. 

Thus, perhaps it is appropriate to say that the moment things arrive into our lives (whether we think we are ready for them or not), it’s none other than energy calling onto energy. Just like the changing seasons, it’s an ongoing process which happens all around us and in every instance. It’s simply what the current brings along with it, and I’m eager to have yet another reason to be grateful, and a new teacher to teach me a thing or two about being patient. For that is what I need to know most right now.

In any case, I’m not sitting here writing to tell you that within the universe everything is already decided/pre-arranged. That’s certainly not what I’m saying. However, I do believe that there are certain things in life which definitely make you wonder whether they were placed there by chance or were there to meet you regardless or irrespective of any other thing you might have done. The rest, of course, depends entirely on the decisions you choose to make there and then. Do you say, “Yes?” or do you say, “No?” Do you stay safe?... or leave the comfort zone behind... and venture out into the unknown? 

It’s all a matter of choice. 

In sum, within every moment of every day there is monumental potential. Therefore, it’s important to recognize that there simply isn’t such thing as an ‘ordinary’ moment. Each and every moment has something to teach you. Each and every moment arrives with the necessary momentum to make you walk in any one direction. Thus, in realizing that potential, the necessity to live life from moment to moment, rather than day to day, or 9-to-5, or workweek to workweek, or weekend to weekend, or vacation to vacation, etc... becomes particularly... indispensable. 

Remembering that in fact, no matter how old or young you are, no matter what stage in life you may find yourself at, “you are always at the beginning”. No two moments are alike... and although the past may be gone, the future is yet to be here, and the now is all there really ever is... being mindful of our past and keeping it present from time to time... helps us remember how it is we got here and where it is where are going. By doing so, it’s much easier to understand that we are always at the beginning. Every day and every instant can be the starting point for something. The simple act of choosing to move forward with your life is a beginning in and of itself, for you have reached a place you hadn’t been a step earlier. 

Bottom line is... 

                                                             

Everyone has their own destiny.

 Not everyone makes the choice to follow it.

I’m lucky I have...

and sometimes... 

all it takes is 2o seconds of pure courage. 

20 seconds which lead you to cross the wide-open-door...

 into a future you had never imagined...

brought to you by the ocean of possibility... 

that lies all around you...

as much as inside you.