The Beauty of Time

    Lately, it has taken me a while to sit down and write. I’ve either kept myself busy doing fun things with the family, enjoying the great outdoors on my bike or boat, or have felt like taking a step back and do nothing. I can’t recommend the latter enough; just stop thinking and let things be for a change. Still, when I do manage to sit down and start writing, sometimes it’s difficult to stop. I never really establish in advance what it is that I want to to write, but once the pen begins to move, the picture of what I want to communicate slowly let’s itself be seen. 

The past four months have been something very special (for lack of a better way to describe them).  This largely has to do with the fact that I’ve had the fascinating opportunity to witness two inside-out-gorgeous and just straight-up enchanting little human beings develop at an absolutely astonishing rate. Now, let me be clear here… even if I didn’t have the great fortune of being their Dad, these two would never cease to take my breath away. I don’t know, perhaps that’s precisely the same way every single parent out there feels about their own kids (as they should)… but it’s a feeling that’s quite hard to capture on paper. 

Right after taking this pic,
Kai asked me: "Dada,これはきれいね?"
"Dad, it's beautiful isn't it?" :)

In just a little over two weeks time, my son, Kai, will be turning 2 years old. That’s about 730 days (although technically it’s over a thousand if you count the days he spent inside developing, quietly listening to the outside world, and practicing kicks and punches within his mom’s belly), but when you really think about it… whatever the exact number… it  doesn't seem like much. Be that as it may, the changes that take place throughout that time in a kid’s life are simply… jaw-dropping / mind-blowing / whichever other adjective you can think of which expresses that something is overwhelmingly impressive. 

For Kai, one of the things that stand out most is his ability to pick up words from simply hearing them ONCE and somehow figuring it out exactly when and how to use them (within minutes). This makes me feel very hopeful given that one of the greatest legacies that I know I can & want to pass on to both him and his sister, is the opportunity to speak at least 3 languages proficiently. Not surprisingly, his Japanese vocabulary continues to grow exponentially each day he goes to Kindergarten, but each time I try to pen down all of the words he uses most often (be it in Japanese, English, Spanish, or his own language…), the numbers are hard to believe.

In addition, his personality has really shined through by now (well, actually since day one…haha). Not only does he really seem to be sure of himself, but he is also well aware of what he can and cannot do (yet…). He loves testing the limits of yours truly… and is extremely well aware of the important role he now plays as a Big Bro to his sister. He loves looking at books, throwing balls around, running outside, taking the time to observe the little things in nature, signing and dancing to music, swimming, kayaking, riding his tricycle, showing off drama skills, drawing on walls, using LEGO, playing the piano or drums on the iPad, taking pictures with an iPhone, using a Go Pro, seeing dogs, cakes, and Jack o’lanterns…, and eating whatever type of food is put in front of him (or in close proximity). The latter is particularly worrisome when we go out to restaurants (at least once a week), since most of our meals (even if he has his very own) end up being devoured by him… 

His sister, Hikari, has been the most amazing baby girl I have ever met (and again… it’s really not because I’m her Dad). She has been a sleeper since day 1 and has never ever had one of those uncontrollable cries, which you have no idea what in the world is going on and how you can make it stop. THANK YOU UNIVERSE. She’s always smiling and in a good mood regardless of the fact that we have been treating her as if she was a couple of years older when we go on highway trips to Kyoto and walk around all day. In other words, she knows how to adjust really well to our active lifestyle and is simply a joy to be around. Although she is currently less than 200 days old, she has already started to crawl the way most babies crawl around their eight or ninth month (or later) of life… and she also LOVES talking/singing in her own language. 

Hikari didn't need to say anything...
 it's pretty self explanatory. :)

In so many ways, I think the reason why she seems to be reaching milestones much quicker than her brother did, is simply because she gets to observe and learn from him on a daily basis. Above all though, hands-down the greatest thing that both their mom and I get to see often, is the genuine love they have for each other. They often laugh together, they play together, they wrestle together, and they even complain together… just delightful. The bottom line is that their relationship as brother and sister continues to find a way to surprise us, and there’s no doubt in my mind that they are bound to become best friends for life. As parents, I don’t think there’s anything greater that you could actually ask for. 

Given all the amazing things we’ve managed to observe and learn in such a short time as parents, there is something that as of late, I’ve given much thought to: time. As it turns out, there is an online video I came across on FB last week that visually portrays most of what I have been thinking about; thus really bringing the point home. It is entitled: The Time You Have (in Jelly Beans) (see below). As its description suggests, this isn’t one of those videos that looks to change you in any way; it merely brings your attention to the one thing each us not only has a limited supply of, but often takes for granted: time. The explanation given is simple… yet the message behind it is brilliant, powerful, and at least in my mind… universal.

Long story short, the video uses jelly beans to show how much free time an average human life really has. A single jelly bean represents one day of our lives; thus, 76(ish) years equal approx. 28,835 jelly beans (days). From there, the narrator explains how many days of our lives are used up doing certain mundane activities such as sleeping (hopefully along with someone we love), commuting, watching TV and its ridiculous adds…, work (hopefully doing something that fulfills you), caring for friends and family, doing basic chores at home, grooming, shopping for food and other things we think we need, cooking/eating, etc. Note that the message isn't saying that any of these are a waste of your time or can't be fulfilling, they're just the ones that take out the most of the time you have. 

Little by little, the total amount of jelly beans on the top right corner of the screen begins to diminish. Suddenly, after subtracting all the time it takes to do all of the things mentioned earlier, an approx. number appears showing you how much free time you actually have left to do all of the things you love/enjoy doing such as playing sports, practicing a type of art, meditating, reading, writing, studying for mere interest, enjoying the outdoors, catching up with friends, traveling, playing an instrument, teaching yourself something new, meeting new people, volunteering, checking FB… or whatever it is that you’re into.

To my surprise, out of an average 76+ years lifetime, there is an approx. grand total of 3,500 days of free time to enjoy doing most of those activities. To put it in perspective, that’s only about 9.5 years of your life combined. Interestingly enough, after considering it for some time, I came to realize that most of those days actually take place within the first five years of your life, when everything is not only new and exciting, but our own cultural biases and judgmental attitudes have not quite taken root in our psyche.

I’ll stop right there, but essentially the video suggests that in reality… the average person can only count with about 3,500 days of a lifetime to do the things he/she truly loves to do. Of course, that is assuming he/she actually lives to 80 or somewhere around there… but since none of us can know for certain how much time we’ve actually got left… well, the entire realization becomes even more astounding.

So… nine and a half years of free time. What can one do with something so priceless? Simple. One does what one must to enjoy them. One stops pacing the aisles and counting the miles. One starts climbing more mountains, swimming in more rivers and oceans, and watching more sunsets. One lets go of comparing what you have and what you don’t have with others, and take the time to worry less and laugh more. One stops simply waiting for the things we really want to do or want to try, and instead go out do them once and for all. 

One stops caring about living a life according to how a society expects you to do it, and instead goes out there to live life according to what you want, what you value, and you believe in. There will always be people who don’t get you, and there’s little one can do to change the fact that they will always act in a certain way… More often than not though, having the right attitude is the best way to tell them all to “beat it”. 

One starts understanding that there is no such thing as a perfect plan, and that every attempt discarded is actually another step forward. One stops the obsessive necessity to find out the WHY about everything instead of simply enjoying the questions themselves; the answers after all, have a tendency to change soon enough anyway. In short, one stops merely pursuing and instead starts bringing symmetry into one’s life. You don’t always need to go far to know who you are... and in the end, it may just be that life is about making the most out of it while trying to make memories. 

1 day? 2 days? 28,000? 

How long have you got left? 

Whatever the number is…

Value it for what it is:

 p o s s i b i l i t y.  

As Robert J. Hastings once put it, life after all… 

“must be lived as we go along,

The station will come soon enough.”