Ends and Beginnings: The Process of Becoming

      It’s hard to believe that September has now come to pass and in less than 48 hours, I’ll be turning 27 years old. I suppose time really does fly by when you are enjoying life and walking the path less traveled. In any event, I’ve been wanting to sit down and write since coming back from Europe in the middle of August, but life has simply kept me quite occupied with other important things. The past few weeks have given me a few surprises, but one that stands out in particular is the fact that my son, Kai, is pretty much fully mobile now. I believe he is only a few weeks away from taking his first steps; though, I think his desire to stand up and try to climb and eat things will keep him occupied for days to come. 

I really don’t know how to put it into words, but the past few months have been BIG eye-openers for me. This comes as no surprise given I’ve been trying my best to be a ‘father’ for the last 10 months, my family and I just experienced an EPIC trip abroad together, and I have been living in Japan for almost 37 months now. Nevertheless, I think it’s mainly the extent to which my life has changed in a way I would have never thought, dreamed, or even imagined when I decided to move here that has been so... mind-boggling (for lack of a better word). Sometimes you really have to slow down and look back to see how far you’ve come in order to move forward with confidence. 

Thus, I sit here trying to put the past 3 years into perspective. Every time I look back at pictures and posts from my 1st year here, I can’t help but smile. I had epic days and weekends right, left, and center throughout this country. I met many great people, saw some breathtaking sights, made epic mistakes trying to navigate the Japanese language, traveled freely, climbed many mountains, flowed wherever the moment wanted to take me, and found contentment in my own company. 

Most of the stories written throughout that year will never get old. 

My 2nd year here brought me many more of those things, but more importantly, it brought me to a crossroad - a point in life in which the core of your being tells you that the decision you make there and then will have far-reaching consequences on how your story unfolds. 

Soon after returning to Vancouver for the first time in a year and a half, I became convinced that what I wanted out of life was not to be found in a place where I felt so safe. A place in which my life could potentially turn out to have a very predictable future. A place in which I felt I couldn’t grow much more than I had already done throughout the decade I lived there. Of course, that’s not to say that I sometimes don’t miss it and the people I love that live there, but that’s what makes returning for a visit that much sweeter. 

I wanted more out of life and I somehow knew that what I was seeking could be found back in Japan. 

It didn’t take long before the universe presented me with an open doorway. On one side, lied the life I was living in that moment, one in which I saw myself continuing to learn, travel, and enjoy on my own. On the other, lied the opportunity to share a life with another human being and in time... start a family of our own. 

Trade-offs - that’s what life is about.

So I went to the beach one afternoon and sat on the sand. Staring at the sea’s vast distance and calm waters, I decided my time had come. Although this decision basically went against all my prior plans and how I had once envisioned the next few years of my life, it didn’t take long before I chose the latter option and crossed that doorway into a new unknown. After all, plans are just plans... and as such, they are always open to change. 

Consequently, as if by magic or design... our plans for the future were turned upside down, much in the same way that wind unexpectedly changes when out at sea, forcing you to tack (or adjust your sails to change course) to continue moving forward. Within months, our original wedding plans were not only altered, but fast-forwarded a whole year in advance of our original date. A couple of weeks after our wedding ceremony, we moved into a new apartment, personalized it (since rentals in Japan come virtually unfurnished...fridge, washer, etc...), and began getting ready to welcome a new human being into our lives by forming a home. 

Half-way through year 3, little 海 finally made an appearance, and we have spent the last 9 months seeing him change and grow day after day after day. Although it has definitely required a bit of adjustment on our part, and we sometimes have felt the inevitable exhaustion that comes with the territory and all new parents feel, it’s been an absolutely extraordinary experience. Even though, I realize that we are just getting started, I’m happy knowing that the trip we just took to Europe is an opportunity that very few babies have ever had at such a young age. I have no doubt that Kai’s mind acted as a sponge absorbing the amazing sights, smells, energy, languages and atmosphere that Paris, the London Olympics, and Spain had to offer. With six flights under his belt already, I can proudly say that Kai is well on his way to becoming a world traveler in the years to come. 

Two months into my 4th year in 日本, I feel at peace with the vision I have for both my life and that of my family’s here. Although, it has become pretty clear to me that Japan is not the absolute perfect country I once imagined it to be, I have also come to realize that at the end of the day, any place you go to is going to have its pros and cons. Therefore, I’ve been trying to overlook the small things that sometimes bother/frustrate me about this place, and instead focus my energy in embracing all of the other things that make living here so worth it. 

The fact of the matter is that everything is a process, so I’m trusting and going with it. In the words of Marianne Willamson: 

         "You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be."

That being so, I’ve come to see how incredibly generous the Universe has been to me since crossing that doorway. Everything appears to have fallen into place at precisely the right and proper moment in which they needed to be. In fact, they continue to do so till this day, and I have no doubt that the trend will continue long into the future. And so as another year in this story comes to an end and a new one begins, I rest patient and assured for what's to come...

It’s all about being grateful and open to whatever comes your way. 

I end this note with a thought I once wrote and posted on this Blog more than two years ago:

"When you invest in the process as opposed to the outcome, every moment in and of itself is miraculous. Life rearranges itself in such a way that all your mental projections about the way you think things should be... lose their momentum; thus, leaving you with nothing else but the purest notion of the simple joy of being alive - namely, true freedom." 

It starts within you.